Duck Duck Cougar?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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