Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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