I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
We are two peas in an std pod
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Randomize