who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
