My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Someone shattered a urinal.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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