There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
