If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
