Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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