Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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