Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
