I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
