So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
