I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
