Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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