the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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