Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
