I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
