Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
If its not for food we ain't going out.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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