they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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