No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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