His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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