Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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