you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
