Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
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I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
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Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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