i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
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he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
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Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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