You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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