So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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