you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pinky promised me she was 18
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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