I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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