you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Randomize
