thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
