I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
