I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
