2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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