i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i just google imaged poop.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
