Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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