So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
