Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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