You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
