Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He keeps bees of course he's weird
you made out with another girl for some wings
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
