There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
