so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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