I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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