that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
