You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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