I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
