he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
