I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
