Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
