ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
