between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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