I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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