Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
