There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.