Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.