I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?