I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Randomize
