The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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