Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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