he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
