Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that