I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
