Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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