were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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