So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
