Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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