I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
