why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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