omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
