I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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